Adventures In Same Sex Marriage

This morning while I was shaving and admiring the somewhat grizzled stud gazing back at me in the mirror I decided it was time to try out my new President-ly authorized gay marriage rights.  Now that it was legal it was time for me to take advantage of the new law.  I walked out onto the back porch in my bathrobe to let the spring breezes stir the manly parts... being spring and a bit chilly, well shrinkage wasn't the desired end.  So, I went back inside and pulled on my jeans, t-shirt, and boots; and decided I'd watch some man movies.

I tossed in the DVD of that Mr and Mrs Smith movie with youngish Brad Pitt to get with the same sex theme, the problem was that lovely Angelina kept distracting me so I swapped in Syriana to watch Paul Krugman blow up shit - what's that dear?  My wife with her womanly attention to detail says it's that doctor show guy.

The movie thing isn't working out so I call my gay buddy.  I know I don't have the swish thing down - like at all - and I figure advice from an expert... Scoffing isn't what I was looking for, "You think I learned that?  That's how I am... go away."  That meant I ought to try one of the gals, I do pretty well with them.  Gales of laughter.  She suggested I might want to consider the consequences of divorce from my wife while I was thinking about taking advantage of the new law.  Oh yeah, that.

I figured maybe some food would help with reflecting and thinking and stuff like that.  So there I am, standing in the kitchen putting together a sandwich when my wife walks by twitching that cute bottom of hers...  Hmmm.  I don't suppose that if I ever want any of that again I better take this any farther.  It doesn't look like I'm going to get any use out of this new law after all.  After having people assure me in the strongest possible terms that everything was going to change... I seem to be same old guy I was before this thing was inked.

Imagine my disappointment...

I know, the shaving part was a dead give away that this is an act of fiction...